Keeping Families Together - Ann and Jack
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Ann is a single mom in her late thirties. She speaks English and Spanish and is very intelligent. Ann had a long struggle with alcoholism. She had been married. After being beaten by her husband on numerous occasions she took her child, Jack and left. She continued to drink and was sentenced to one year in jail for drinking and driving. Jack was taken into Youth and Family services custody and placed with a foster family.
Ann planned to "sleep" through her year in jail but decided to enroll in our Family Ties class. Through the class she was able to understand how she could continue to be in contact with her son and have an on-going relationship. She learned how different he would be in the end of their year-long separation. She learned also to reassure Jack without making promises she would not be able to keep.
ECO facilitated contact with the social worker and shared Ann's concerns about her son and her commitment to be there for him when she got out. A plan was developed that established regular visits between Ann and Jack while she was in jail.
Because Ann had completed the Family Ties class she was able to have a contact visit with Jack. She was able to take Jack in her arms and give him a big hug. When she saw him she said, "I didn't realize how tall you had become". Having only seen Jack through a glass window on previous visits, Ann was not able to fully measure the changes that had taken place in him.
Ann, ECO and the social worker continued to exchange information and make reunification plans once she was released. They talked about how Jack might react to her being home, some of the behaviors she might expect from Jack and helpful ways she could respond.
After jail, Ann was released to an aftercare programs. She and Jack were reunited and now she has full custody. She remains clean and sober. Ann and Jack are very involved in their church community and he starts kindergarten this year.
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She could have been a lost cause.
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Grace is a single mom of two. She lives in her own home on the west side of towm. She has a good job and is able to pay with bills with a little extra leftover. She goes to chuch regularly, is active in her children's school and volunteers at the polls during elections. If you saw her on the street or in a store, you might imagine that she is a good mother, neighbor and employee and you would be right. But she has not always been like that.
Grace has been incarcerated five times. She had a problems with drugs and that was all she focused on. Her children lived with their grandmother because Grace could not take care of them. When Grace was incarcerated the fifth time, she decided she had to change to create a better life for her children and be a good mother to them.
We were there for her. On her release, Grace received help to find employment, registered at the local community college in a training program and participated in life skills classes. Her mother was supportive and continued to take care of the children while Grace pulled her life together. She became active in a 12-step program, secured a sponsor and worked on her issues.
She worked with our staff on a daily basis, reordering her life, receiving encourgement and support and finding resources in the community to help her do things the right way. The community college hired her part-time and then expanded her job to full-time. She was able to move into an apartment where her children could join her. She experienced the challenges of parenting a teenager and a pre-teen. She continued her 12-step meetings and soon became a sponsor herself, encouraging others to stay clean and sober.
Grace particpated in a home ownership program and was able to move into a new house. She left her job at the school for one that almost doubled her salary. She goes to PTA meetings and volunteers at her children's school.
After the fifth time in prison it would have been easy to write Grace off as a lost cause and focus on keeping her children out of trouble. But by supporting Grace and her children, a family is together and Grace is able to focus on keeping the childrent out of trouble, helping them reach their potential and contributing to our community.
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Where would you rather have me?
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Let me tell you my qualifications. I am a 22-year veteran of the state and federal prison systems. I am what is called a "career criminal". That is how Robert started his presentation to the Mecklenburg County Commissioners at the 2004-2005 budget hearing. "I came here seven years ago, released from Lenoir County to Camp Green. The sergeant says I got to go. I been put out of many places, but I never been put out of prison before".
Robert said, "Well I need some help. I need somebody to show me where to go". The sergeant said, "Well, go throw a brick and you can come back". The prison chaplain helped Robert get into a men's shelter that night.
Robert said he had heard of ECO and went there the next day. He said, "they did not hold my hand and place me in a job. They made everything available to me to do the leg work myself. ECO provided me with the assistance I needed to get identification, drivers license, birth certificate and all the vital stuff I needed to start a job search. It hasn't been easy, but I've manged to become a registered voter. I am employed and I even have my own small business that I do in the morning.
Robert told the commmissioners, "I am going to cut it all and ask just one question to the citizens of Mecklenburg County, where would you rather have me? Would you rather have me knocking on ECO's door every time I lose a job, for someone to show me compassion, someone who can give me help, show me a little hope? Where would you rather have me? At ECO's door asking for help or at 2:00 one morning, at your back door, asking for help.
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